Life is…

Posted on July 14, 2007 Updated on May 3, 2012

For about 26 years, life happened to me. I didn’t appreciate it…or really even get it. I saw what I wanted to see and took what I could out of it in order to benefit myself. Now, I get it and I am in control. I’m ready to live it, enjoy it and learn from it. I know that life isn’t about getting here or there, but it’s about the life itself. It’s about experience. Relationships. Day-to-day happiness. Fuck ups. BIG ones. It’s about learning from whatever the hell it is you’re doing. It’s life.

It’s exactly what everyone knows it is, but what no one seems to understand. You can’t prepare someone for life. You can’t sit someone down in a classroom or on a couch and tell them about life. Life is subjective. Life is what you take from it. Life is certainly not a career, a house and a car. It’s a late-night conversation about everything and nothing with your best friend. It’s a beautiful day in the park with your dog, a ball, and not a damn thing to do until the next morning. It’s a perfect afternoon, lying in bed with your lover for hours, laughing so hard you cry. It’s fucking up so badly that you have to have time to yourself. It’s being so happy that you live in oblivious glee to the rest of the world. It’s getting everything taken from you in an instant.

It’s hiccupping nonstop for an entire night. It’s falling asleep with a book on your chest and Rod Stewart playing in the CD player. It’s waking up to kisses on your neck from the one you love. It’s knowing that things really will be okay. It’s hating time but loving the results. It’s a thunderstorm when you left your windows open. It’s spending an entire day just taking pictures of the world around you. It’s that first hug. It’s puppy kisses in the morning. It’s not knowing a damn thing about tomorrow, but planning for it, anyways. It’s time with a best friend that you only see twice a year and knowing that no time at all has really passed since the last time.

It’s having the best week ever, then trying to recapture the magic again later. It’s realizing that age doesn’t matter, but maturity does. It’s getting goosebumps. It’s the beautiful conversations on first dates that make you lose track of time. It’s the first night you get drunk out of sorrow. It’s constantly worrying about money. It’s buying dinner for someone who can’t afford to pay, even though you can’t either. It’s having a full tank of gas, a desire to drive, and a mix CD on repeat. It’s crying for someone else’s problems. It’s wishing that bras and shaving didn’t need to exist. It’s butterflies in your stomach. It’s holding hands the right way. It’s seeing your dad cry for the first time. It’s being happy for a friend who is moving because you know that is where she needs to be. It’s not knowing a damn thing about what’s going to happen and hating that. It’s wanting so desperately to help and being unable to. It’s seeing your family cry. It’s going through a car wash on an already amazing day. It’s realizing that for the first time in your life, you don’t want your birthday to be here. It’s karma.

It’s trying to make a connection to every song you hear. It’s the thought of being a mommy. It’s the little things. It’s the big things. It’s surprising someone and being surprised yourself. It’s going fishing with your grandpa. It’s learning how to cook with your grandmother. It’s wanting a marriage so badly with the one you love. It’s wanting to finally know the recipe to your mom’s famous sauce. It’s getting text messages during work that make you burst out laughing or send shivers up your spine. It’s having the fun now and paying the consequences later. It’s packing up and moving across country with no plan for when you arrive. It’s hearing someone say that you’re beautiful and for the first time, knowing that they mean it. It’s actually listening to your mom’s advice. It’s having two of your best friends force you to wear a skirt for the first time and still enjoy it. It’s the girl’s nights. It’s holding your first baby. It’s getting a warm sweater from out of the dryer to wear. It’s running out of Sour Patch Kids when you want them the most. It’s the dream of living in many different states before I die. It’s finally realizing that Mom is and always was right.

It’s having the most important thing you own stolen. It’s finally seeing that there actually are people who love you – and more than you thought. It’s not knowing when your parents will die and hating that they are so far away. It’s watching your favorite shows every week. It’s wanting so desperately for the people most important to you to be happy in whatever it is they’ll do, even if it means excluding you. It’s holding your best friend until her tears are gone. It’s traveling. It’s getting woken up by a phone call in the middle of the night from someone that just wants to say that they love you. It’s Christmas mornings with the family. It’s getting a call from your best friend saying she’s getting married. It’s writing down perfect and hilarious quotes from a long conversation. It’s renting a car with your best friends and driving to San Diego.

It’s having your brother tell you he is proud of you for the first time. It’s blasting Bruce Hornsby through the neighborhood with the windows down on the last warm day of the year. It’s going to the movies and getting popcorn. It’s losing a best friend. It’s falling asleep on the countertop after a long night. It’s missing those that you never wanted to say goodbye to. It’s inside jokes. It’s second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh chances.

It’s knowing that everyone has their own realizations about what life is or isn’t. Life really is amazing.